birthday bash surprise

boyfie and i rented a car for the weekend. we went for a spin and spent time together in the car. on fri, we took my family out for dinner and he took his mom out on sat morning. so we went out on sat afternoon for movie and went for a spin around town.

Sunday was a delightful surprise though. coz i tot he didnt plan anything for me! he said let's just go with the flow when we go out. coz i actually said to him, i'm expecting something for my bday! since we didnt really celebrate my bday together so he said he wanna make it up to me. but there wasnt anything plan on fri or sat. so i was disappointed and pissed.

then Sat, he told me to meet at 9 am the next day, sun. so i waited and waited till 10 am. he arrived at my doorstep singingpaparazzi with the rest of the guys shouting 'SURPRISE! HAPPY BDAY SHASHA!!' i was like, wats the commotion outside?! it was super sweet to see all of them outside my doorstep in the morning.

then we proceed to sentosa for picnic and cake cutting! i have to thank NANA for making the deliciously sweet filling cake and preparing all the food! oh oh, and NANA'S IBU!! THANK U CIK!!

the guys, i know u guys went out on sat nite but thank u for making sure Is woke up early. i mean going thru the extend of sleeping over at faizal's place after he came from reservist and then for the an early morning. awww.........

picnic was so filling coz i ate too much. then LUGE was crazy. the boys were going crazy to win the race. oh well, it was a race amongst them. not us, girls. we were cruising! hahahahha!

i know we all had fun and it was so tiring for everybody that me and boyfie got sick.

so here's a THANK U note...........................................

words is not enough to say how much i really appreciate you
all the complaints, rantings
really regretting it now
realising that it's me whose wrong
whatever u've done for me
i'm grateful u're in life
thank u
i love u, IS

weddings

so its THE season to get married. june holidays are here again and this weekend alone, i went to 4 different weddings. all of whom are completely so called strangers to me. coz i dun even know them except they have this relative thingy with my family. anyhow, all concepts are very different but one stands out the most coz the food was served old-styled. reminiscing the olden days when my parents and older cousin got married and everyone in the extended family helped out to serve the dishes and clear the plates. i remembered playing with water when i was supposed to wash plates and cups... hahahhahaha... the rest of the wedding, normal lar.. buffet style, then food cold. then one thing i hate about going to weddings is these people keep asking when's my turn.. for goodness sake, i'm not even done with school yet. oh well, some even say i looked like mak org... oh well, i look old for my age. but who cares. i like it like this.

so then me and my cousins and my aunt started to talk about weddings. i told them i wanna do it at sce sch hall coz there's air con... hahahhaha... but dun think can lar... just do at CC lar... but the one i went on sat, the CC hall very small.. and the food was cold.... hmmm.... at void deck, too hot.. so hot then i was perspiring that my make up almost wore off.

so much talk about wedding, i dun even know whether i'm meant for him... =(

its over.

i'm in a confused state of mind. yes or no??

i dun wan to hurt him but looks like i did. all i want is for him to be happy and the best for us. which is to lead our own way of life now. he can now lead the life the way he always want. the space he wants, with no restrictions. i can live without worrying that my boyfriend has the hots for other girls.

i'm really sorry i've let u guys (u know who u r) down and that i've wronged him. i can't live with this guilt with him. knowing that it hurt him, it has also deteriorate our r'ship.

i've loved iskhandar zulkarnain more than i love myself. he's the 1st man to teach me the way of life and how cruel the world out there.

but i still believe he can live without me. i will deal with all the pain, regret, torment, sadness, lonliness, happines alone. guys, be there for him.

me? i just immerse myself with work. ot and more ot. i dont mind anyway.

so for now, no more love story.


***UPDATE***
we're back together with the help of friends.

fed-up

i'm so damn fed-up. tired. bored. stupid shit!

i hate this feeling!

no, its not boyfie. he's fine. keeping me happy here and there. but its my bloody surroundings! argh!!!!!

updates

~UPDATES~

1. I've yet to update about my Japanese ladies.
2. I screwed up my last exam paper. i'm dead.
3. I damaged Boyfie's psp and he's damn pissed off at me. It cost me 50 bucks for the repair and a whole lot of trouble and irritating stuff!
4. I had a class gathering cum Charlyn's B'day celebration on Mon, 2 Mar 09.
(look at the pics)
5. Also, I'm starting my internship soon so I'll be missing in action.

till then..............

kaypoh people!

I don't understand that a piece of news can spread super uber fast. It's really irritating when its about your own self. Argh, super irritating. Not only that the main info they know, but also the freaking personal details.

EEE!!! GERAMNYE!!!

Akiho & Aiko

I'm so missing them.
The Japanese girls.
Akiho & Aiko.

I miss saying Oishi, Kawaii!!!!

WW III

WORLD WAR III HAS STARTED BETWEEN 2 _ _ _ _ _ _ S.

AND I'M ALWAYS LAUGHING AT THE SIDE. WATCHING THE 'GREAT' SHOW.

**this is the second quabble i know that i'm laughing at**

hahahaha... i know i'm mean... laughing at other people when they fight.... hmm, don't they know that they will kiss and make up again. tsk tsk tsk! then they will realise how silly the argument is BUT on the other hand, i don't think they will coz' both want to win. No one want to give in. tsk tsk tsk! don't want to compromise also. tsk tsk tsk!

but who cares, i'm laughing anyway.

p/s: i'm not saying any names, but if u think i'm saying u then.... who eats the chilli, taste the spiciness, in the words of a malay proverb "siapa makan cili, rasa pedasnya"

zebra crossing

what is it with drivers huh? i was walking home just now and had to cross the zebra crossing twice. at both junction, i had to stop bcoz the incoming vechile is freaking speeding!!!! hello!!! DRIVERS, u supposed to be cautious!!

the 1st junction was a huge sand lorry. such a huge vechile and yes, the apek was speeding. had to give a little jam break to stop at the zebra crossing for me to cross.. why drive car so fast, apek?! u fly more faster!! then after that, i cross the traffic light junction which leads to another zebra crossing. this time, taxi uncle. pakcik!! wear shades, action cool but speeding like crazy. catching someone is it? undercover cop driving a cab?? that pakcik drove so fast, he almost knock a sec sch boy. luckily, that boy was alert and walking steadily. if not, i would become an eye-witness of an accident. ishk!!!

i remembered last 2 weeks, on the way back. i was in the bus at clementi and i saw civil defence folks trying to rescue 'someone' or 'something' (i don't know what is it coz there was a crowd blocking it) under a sand lorry. YUP, the big one. tsk tsk!

so folks, please STOP and LOOK left or/and right (whichever the traffic comes from) BEFORE u cross the road. Mind you, please be extra careful if u're jaywalking. worst still!!

featuring the original ZEBRA crossing! ^__^

pissed.pissed.pissed, & bro b'day

I'M SO PISSED OFF SO EARLY IN THE MORNING!!!!!!

I CAN'T BRING THE PSP TO SCHOOL.

my journey to sch and back home is so long that i need something to keep me occupied. but my mum insisted that my bro wants to play the psp when he gets back. so i can't bring lar. irritating seh. early in the morning tau. i was practically shouting, 'then, when will i ever get the chance to play?' so damm pissed off. oh then, i forgot its his birthday today. arrrghh!! fine, since its his birthday, i'll just let it go. but i make sure i can bring the PSP on monday. he hasn't been to school for this whole week. playing the PSP continuously, non-stop. today then go school. melampau seh!

on another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AZHAR! my younger bro. ^__^

on the funny side of my friday morning, a chinese lady wanted to give up her seat coz i think she thinks i'm pregnant. hahahahha.... i'm wearing the ever famous black dress which make me like a preggo. the dress my sis bought me at esprit. hehehe... hey its a gift and i like wearing it, even though my boyfie warned me that if i wore any dress, it will always make me look preggo.. tsk!

here's me with the dress.
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so do i look like one?

breezing through

Now i know I haven't been posting these days.... busy lar, babe.. with a couple of things... i decided to change my blogskin coz i found it hard to read(and for my friends as well). the previous skin, the font is freaking small.... but the skin nice lar. actually u guys can increase your browser text size. duh~
Anyways, school's back on. Spent the 1st 2 weeks of the year rushing for the dealine. and its over. did my re-test. seriously, the re-test paper was so much easier than the original one. hehehe... and they all claimed that the re-test paper is always more difficult than the one before. sudahlah. crap only. up next is preparing for one of my last project presentation, then i'm FREEEEE from project... -.-" still got exams coming up soon.... argh!!!

ok ok. today has been a quite frustrating day for me... its the time of the month some more. like 'toot'! oh did i tell u, its CNY coming monday and we(my mum and me!!!) just completed 10 kg = 2000 pineapples tart. I'm so freaking exhausted!! the best part is its not enough. still have to make some more. BOLEH MATI!(can die). if i am/own factory, never mind seh!
me writing this, is not to boast around that my mum's tarts are sellable, BUT to let off my steam that i have to do more!!! argh!

ok wat else i missed? arh yes, the freaking snow city tickets. mentioning it now still makes me boils!!! ee.... KNS!(thanks to char, i learnt this) story that another day. i want to sleep alrdy. its 2am. was searching for a suitable skin till now.

enough of rants. I'm also happy coz boyfie bought 3 bags for me. from a garage sale. hehehe. vintage bags that is. i'm still wondering what to wear if i want to use the bags. and i'm also happy coz boyfie is always there. so i should stop thinking of silly things about him.
oh yes. taufik batisah song's Nafasku is so meaningful seh. haiz. whenever i listen to it, it hits my heart and somehow, my heart sank. the lyrics i tell u. fuuh!

Happy New Year. Its 2009!!

Hey peeps,

Happy New Year!! Let's embrace 2009 with smiles and an optimistic mindset.

We all know how the world has been evolving (very sad) but let's pray that it will be a better year ahead for everyone.

Take each experience we had as a learning point in our life. (someone always say this to me)

bad ones as a lesson.
good ones as memories.

let's move on and work out that resolutions, people! start afresh!

talking abt starting afresh....

Tmr is my bro's 1st day at a Secondary Sch. Although i'm not feeling at the least excited, I'm sure he is. He's complaining to me that he can't sleep... hehe... reminds me of my time in Anderson.. hahah.... i think i'll feel anxious for him tmr, when the time comes. hmmm.... he's a big boy now.... still, i'm proud of him. hahha... we're looking for his sch shoes and we had to find a few places 'cause none of them had his shoe size, 45!!! Finally, mum bought 2 pairs at Haig Road.

p/s: Oops, before i forget. to everyone who sent me sms wishes, Happy 2009 to u guys too. I'm lazy to send sms lar.... so here will do...

Things that really pisses me off

Things that really pisses me off right now:

1. Crowded buses in the morning during the school HOLIDAYS. (crowded=slow)

2. The amount of money spent on cigarettes. (why can’t they ban smoking and stop selling cigarettes?!)

3. My eyeliner turns watery. No more black ink. (it had to run out when I’m broke)

4. Projects deadline all at the same day.

5. Endless project meetings.

6. Short yet messy hair. (it’s so irritating now, I don’t even know how to style it anymore)

7. School going to start = waking early in the morning for school. ARGH!!!

happy post?

someone told most of my posts are mainly sad, angry post.. ranting about loads of stuffs... complained about my boyfie.....

well, its somewhat true... heheheh.....

ok.... i cut my hair last fri.. its freaking short... goodbye long hair...

and i'm sick as hell.... my cough isnt getting any better since eid... so i got worried... and i vomited twice.. all the disgusting phlem came out... yucks!

happy note: I have all my dearest family and friends asking how am i doing.... so blessed to have them.... =)

can someone help me?

can someone please tell him

i don't have any patience left

i can't wait any longer

i'm going crazy here alone

if we don't settle this, 

my mind and heart won't be at ease

 it's not fair for me 

to wait on him to make a decision

when he's the one at fault

i feel shitty and freaking unwanted

he's outside, i'm at home

playing with my emotions

going up and down

sleep doesnt work anymore

i want to sleep until i cant wake up

i still wake up to shit

thinking of wat happen

i'm not strong as i tot

can someone help me?

its not f*cking poem.

obstacles yet again

u know how ironic it is when i say all those nice things abt my bf... say all those notes to my bf.... and the fact I said I love him 'forever' and 'always'.... 

there's something triggered me when my fren, Yuko, said... there's no such thing as 'love u forever'... i was taken aback... and look wat happened........................................................

yes, everyone................. i found out something accidentally in my laptop abt my bf.... history is so repeating itself again and again......................

i'm not even interested to write the details........ i dont know where to start also.......... i'm just very hurt now............ very sad, disappointed.................

life goes on.... let it be a lesson learnt (notes to loved ones)

been busy with loads of stuff.... school's just started and finished up raya visiting.... ok, i didn't went out with 2 or 3 outings with my old frens.... coz many of the outing dates clash... anyhow, something major happened recently and its somewhat old news but it made an impact on my closest friends life....

here's the thing, this year i made friends with really good people whom i treasure and wouldn't take granted for... i know its kinda too early to say but we've grown so close... the 6 of us... yes, made up of 3 couples... we've been close and spent most of our time together...

so what happened was, 1 of them asked for a break-up with the bf... and didnt turn up for our house-visiting outing... which made the rest wondered why.. coz we all were looking forward to it... to visit each and everyone's house....

3 of us girls became so close like sisters(u know my GFF).. but me and the other one didn't know a thing about the break-up... yes, we shared our problems together coz our BFs are the best of friends... so we tot we could work things out together but it turned out otherwise... I know it was hard for my guy friend to accept that change but so did my GF who initiated the break-up.... they were together for 5 freaking years... i dont think it would be easy for both of them to endure the pain and the hurt... i'm not going into details of why and what happened between them.. its their privacy... i respect them and their privacy... its between the 6 of us...

it was really hard for us girls, me and my other GF to accept the change... I, personally, was in tears when we were trying to solve or rather find the reasons behind the cause of it.... and cried again before going to sleep... somehow, i felt the pain between them coz we've really grown so freaking close... seriously, i never felt this with any of my other friends.... like we're tearing apart... ok, wait... yar, i remembered i cried when i fought with my friends back in ITE and sec sch... ok lar.. i'm soft-hearted... but this is someone else breaking up, not me... its completely different lar....

anyhow, its over.... my BF kept telling me that its over(btwn them, not us) and to get that in my head... yes. I have to adapt to the change and i really hope the 2 of them can adapt as well... to be hurt and all, is every difficult to endure and pass through this period...

and also, its really a lesson for me that anything can happen in life... even though you're together with someone for 5 years doesn't mean you're gonna be with him/her for the rest of your life.... its really sad, btw... to know that someone who truly love, will leave u whether it is ur bf/gf or ur close family members... cherish them while we can... dont ever take them for granted...

i love my family, my BF and my friends!!!

P.S>>>>>>

to my FAMILY : i know i'm not always at home... but u all are always in my heart and mind.. esp, mom and dad... thank u for all the sacrifice u've done for me... life has been hard for all of us these years but we all are happy with wat we have... to dear sis, please always remember our parents whom bring us to this world... and to my lil(not lil anymore) bro, please study hard, ok. u too have a whole new future waiting for u guys out there... i'm going to mine soon....

BOYFIE: 3 years together, u have taught me countless things about life and other stuffs as well... u've always been my motivation and my support.. the only one who truly knows me other than my parents... my family have grown to love u... i hope i can too with ur family... i dont know how things will go btwn us but i'll always hope for the best for us... life is really unpredictable when fate brought us together after being schoolmates in sec sch... memories, arh!! i love u, baby... always and forever... until the end of time....

NH: i'm sorry that i said things which u dont want to say to others but i hope we still can go out as usual with ND... we're always gonna be there for u, ok? don't think abt wat other say esp. him. thanks for the times when i needed u when i fought with my BF....

ND: thanks for the times when i needed u when i fought with my BF.... i love u, babe! meet up soon, ok? and don't keep F angry always!

I & F: u're the best guy friends a girl could ask for... but u guys are still my BF's best of friends... thanks for giving advise and tipswhen i needed one.... heheh.. =)

OMG! the list goes on.......................

SUE: i really cherish the times we have together... at sch, at ur home studying... i really appreciate all ur efforts and concern towards... i know i tease u a lot but i just got used to it and i'll try to cut down, ok? witout u, i won't be able to make through poly!
(and when seeking forgiveness, we cried.... i cant believe we've grown so close)

CHAR, SHAY & CHARlie: hey guys, poly life wudn't be complete without u guys... let's be this way now till we end poly and hope to last even after that.....

D girls(Dj, Noli, Hani): i miss u guys... but things dont seem the way it used to be anymore... everyone of us lead a different life now... i know everytime nak kuar, aku tak jadi... i dont know y it always turned out like tat.... but i really have to attend something urgent on the days we were supposed to meet... i'm really sorry... but whatever it is, i wish u all the best and dont forget this friend of urs....

Sec sch mates: what happened to us? i feel everyone's falling apart... nobody has time for everybody... its like always a few of us when we try to meet... =(

that's all la.... love u guys for reading this and love the people who are still with you... cherish those who are gone and let them be memories....

not much of celebration though

its Eid or in malay, Hari raya, again... its the time of the year where everyone have fun and be merry...

its kinda different for me this year. i dont find it as joyful as previous years. Yes, my pics showed i'm happy and all... but that's only the 1st day. i dont blame anyone but myself. my bro has psle this week, poor him. there are guests coming to my house but still i cant feel the excitedness of celebrating. i definitely think it's me. cant get to go out much either. everyone's busy. i'm the only bummer, sitting at home, doing nothing. just in front of me laptop all day, watching Jap dramas.

haiz... but there is something i was thinking about on my way home from meeting up with Nisa. She's back from Kuantan!!! so happy, got kaki to hang out with... got bf also like dont want to go out with me. maybe he's starting to get bored with me????

i know my blog technically doesn't have any readers at all but i was thinking on my way home abt this 'thing'~~.. considering whether i should do it or not..... would it hurt others with this decision of mine...~~~~~ haiz...

Eid / Lebaran celebrations

PICS only....

my little nephewcousins from paternal side

2 dear cousins from maternal side. neighbours too..

more pics coming up soon.... SALAM LEBARAN, y'all!

Late Post - Oppa's Birthday celebration

It's a 3-day occasion where i celebrated his birthday on 19th sept itself. Brought him to eat at Nana Thai to break fast....

here's him waiting for time to break fast... and has no clue on what's going to happen...

i let him choose his own cake to eat and have... choc cheesecake & new york cheesecake

then on saturday, 20 sept, our good friends celebrated his birthday and faizal's together. A surprise party what else!! It was at AMIRAH'S GRILL. Fun as hell and funny like crazy. We all had fun and super tired. And i didnt really wanna go home... hehehehe.. for more pics, click here.

this is the cake that i bought for him and faizal.

the birthday boys

the present i bought for him. sorry baby, its late. (oh yes, its his new haircut)

ADIDAS soccer boots. what he wanted.

he's a happy man.

hope to have more great years to come.

pics that i used to make his birthday card.