the period of the month

i hate this feeling of the month. i hate weekends also. i just cant get things i want. i never ask for the moon or stars. i just wanna spend the weekend with my loved ones but end up i'm at home without them. just like any other day.

i want to understand him but i cant seem to. i want attention but the attention given is just a while. when i want to let go, he's ready to give anything to me. but now, same je.... wait? yar, i'm waiting... still waiting.... and waiting....

i always remember what he says, promises to me. and i'm still waiting. or do i expect too much from him? but wat am i expecting from him? wat i want from him?

i dont want to expect anything from him because i know it would lead to a disappointment if i expect something from him.

argh!!! i'm so damn f*cked up. shitty shitty shitty!!!