history repeats itself.

i know i have done lots of bad things in life. retribution is on its way. it could be here. being in a relationship is a joy at some point but it can be painful while we're at it. i have loved him with all my heart but i got hurt yet again. dad was right, we were just merely friends. no strings attached(tiada kaitan). he always wanted his space. i had given him and he gave me mine. yati was right too, in a relationship, someone will cheat on the other party, is either one. I have to learn it the hard way. No, he didnt sleep with another girl. but something else. biarlah rahsia(let it be a secret). umpteen times, i just couldnt take it anymore. the fact that i have give my heart to him, i was willing to do anything for him, except for losing weight (hahaha). maybe i lacked the beauty, body, wit, wisdom, sexiness, and all other things u can find in any clever-below60kg-pretty girl. other words, the perfect one. he just didnt think of me and tot on how wud i react. its been three years. how can i sustain for another few more years to get married? i tot he wud be different than the guys i know who only wanted sex. bloody idiotic morons!
as much as i wanna let go, my heart keeps clinging onto him. i feel weak and i hate it. wat wud life be without him?