it ain't over till it's over

its been a torturous week for me. the last week tat is. I got into argument and emotional stress. haiz. i thought i wanted it over but when i saw him on wed to talk it out with him. my heart melted instantly. i love him too much to upset him. i dont know what to decide next. i felt like leaving him and at the same time, i don't want to cause i love him seh...

on my part, i feel like i had to leave him cause somehow i feel that he wants to enjoy now and make more girl friends. so i thought if he wants to do it that way, i rather leave him and get hurt eventually. yes, i get jealous easily and what if he'll leave me for someone else? yar, i dont trust him cause of wat happen previously. i dont ask for sympathy but i wanna pour out my feelings.

so he had to make a deal with me. he said, if i want him to stop that, i had to do my part. which is

i had to lose weight.

i told him i will try and so we had a deal. at first, i thought it was unfair, and i felt like an idiot for me to agree on it. its like making me feel that i'm not good enough for him now. but i considered it again, and decided to try to lose weight for me and him.

so i'm back with him now. its like everytime we had an argument, i want out but come to think of it, i'm silly and running away from all the problems we had.