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his drawings are cool... 1st look u think he' disgusting but...
enjoy!

he's mine for keeps

we had arguments. but never till i cried for two days for him. i know its stupid and all.. I've trying to do something about the relationship every time we fought... he said all the fights, I started it.. and i know that... but the cause of it??? he admitted, is him lar... so now the problem is i'm very confused actually.. coz up until now, even though we come to a settlement and compromise... i still duno what he wants and see me as... when we were arguing, he brought up the thing that i mentioned to him.... what dad said, 'kita takde ikatan'... he's not my husband, tunang or watever.. we're just friends...

so how now? i duno.. he told he love me unconditionally.. ok... then wat? we're still together... as bf n gf?? i guess so.. just leave it at tat... he said i bear grudges against him... when i said why he never take me meet his parents and his friends when we were dating in our 1st year... maybe its new lar but somehow i feel tat he dun wan his close people to know tat i exist... its weird... n i'm still wondering till today... why he never bring me to introduce some of his friends when sometimes he talk about them...

i mean am i wrong to think and ask all these things?? even his past gfs i duno... weird huh? i duno its my 1st long term relationship and i dont have a clue about this... this is his 6th... he told me...
i guess i have to learn the hard way.. eh....

well, to look at the bright side, he's bringing me to his ITE friends BBQ on sat so this is a 1st...
(other than meeting his secondary sch classmates, my ex-sch mates)

AN~DUI!!!!!!!!

today is not my day or wat?

1st...... my ex classmates from secondary school supposed to go out for dinner tonight but as usual the famous saying... bubble.... 1 by 1 bubble... god! at the 11th hour, almost everyone backed out... left only the 3 of us for dinner.... so changed of plans lar... since group left us few... bubble bubble....

2nd.... stupid laptop keep hanging whenever i click on something... its always the internet explorer giving problems.. and right now, i'm downloading firefox.. it supposed to be better than I.E... so i heard from my friends at poly.. ok....

3rd.... i'm just bored lar at home... i'm done watching Hwang Jin Yi.... both drama of 24 episodes and the movie itself...

Ha Ji Won as Hwang Jin Yi in the drama

Song Hye-Kyo as Hwang Jin Yi in the movie. As some of u know, she's the main lead actress in Full House. (Another great yet funny drama)

Right now, i'm into korean back.. just seeking another great drama to watch. Hwang Jin Yi is basically a gisaeng (in japan, its called geisha, so its the same lar). They are very much like artists now but only back then, the rich can take them for the night. the drama shows life lessons and hardships. the best for me is, of coz, the love they each sacrifice for their loved ones ever since i was amidst of loads of fighting with him... so it actually taught me a lesson.. it was a reaally nice movie and drama to watch.. very touching.. i cried at the two episodes.. heart-breaking...

so next drama, gee.. i duno.. they say coffee prince is nice... but duno ler.. a bit draggy lar... and i wanna watch those romantic kind yet funny....

exams done. wats next?

today's the end of last paper. and marks the end of year 1 in NP. so much has happened. 1 year ago, i just graduate from ITE. not exactly but same period. i dont expect much but wat can i say. i'm always slacking and my grades are not as good as it was during ITE. but i cant compare, can i? its 2 separate things.. haha.. so accounting term, separate legal personalities... ok ok... enough... now wat i should do is go work my ass off to get some income.

ok, next story...
i'm supposed to meet him today after he's done with werk. but he being so fickle minded, wanted to buy psp at bedok.. so he went ahead without me. i told him if he's late, the saloon will close cause he'll be doing rebonding again.. it takes around 3 hr... being stubborn as he is, he ignored me and went ahead. the thing is i cant stand him being so stubborn and yes, he just dont wanna listen to me.. always his way...
and after calling him, he's on the way back home.. and i bet he got his hair done already ar.. if not, he'll be complaining already...
another thing that irritates me is when I'm angry, he's like don't care like tat... argh!!! i dun understand him... n after 3 years together, i dunno whether he cares about my feelings... when i'm angry, sad, irritated, bla bla bla.....
alar.... sampai bila nak cam gini....??? if i change, will he change?

wats left?

tmr's vday. the promise was to take me on a cable car trip was cancelled. I told him, dont waste money on it but actually i didnt had the mood for it after wat had happened. the 'bracelet' i made for him, i decided to dispose it. as it cant be compared to the ring he made for me. i'm sure most of my frens have seen the rings. i'm talking about one that he made from platinum metal, with his name and mine engraved on it. the other one is made from white gold, with 3 hearts engraved on it. I'll take a photo on it and post it here soon.

I dun think he really understand me. yes, like most girls, wat i did was to tell him the opposite thing of i actually i'm going to. I know he's not going to read my blog post. so he's never gonna know wat i really. even if i tell him, i know i'll get rejected. so save me some face and just go with the flow.

history repeats itself.

i know i have done lots of bad things in life. retribution is on its way. it could be here. being in a relationship is a joy at some point but it can be painful while we're at it. i have loved him with all my heart but i got hurt yet again. dad was right, we were just merely friends. no strings attached(tiada kaitan). he always wanted his space. i had given him and he gave me mine. yati was right too, in a relationship, someone will cheat on the other party, is either one. I have to learn it the hard way. No, he didnt sleep with another girl. but something else. biarlah rahsia(let it be a secret). umpteen times, i just couldnt take it anymore. the fact that i have give my heart to him, i was willing to do anything for him, except for losing weight (hahaha). maybe i lacked the beauty, body, wit, wisdom, sexiness, and all other things u can find in any clever-below60kg-pretty girl. other words, the perfect one. he just didnt think of me and tot on how wud i react. its been three years. how can i sustain for another few more years to get married? i tot he wud be different than the guys i know who only wanted sex. bloody idiotic morons!
as much as i wanna let go, my heart keeps clinging onto him. i feel weak and i hate it. wat wud life be without him?

hamster world

Brownie's thirsty, i think

Vanilla on the wheel & Brownie taking a nap

Vanilla playing hide n seek with IS

Vanilla having fun

Here's Vanilla having fun when Brownie's not watching....

IS's entertaining her while she's doing her thing...